Becoming Who You Need to Be (Instead of Who Others Expect You to Be)

There’s a moment in life when you realize that the person you’ve been showing up as—the version of yourself that pleases, performs, and meets expectations—just isn’t working anymore. It might look successful from the outside, but inside, you feel misaligned. Stuck. Drained.

I know that feeling well.

For years, I built a career that put me in rooms with world leaders, changemakers, and visionaries. I had a front-row seat to powerful conversations and saw firsthand what it meant to live with purpose. But something kept nagging at me: Was I truly living in alignment with myself?

I had spent so much time being the person others needed me to be that I lost sight of who I needed to be. And that misalignment had a cost.

It took years of peeling back layers—letting go of old narratives, unlearning the belief that my worth was tied to what I achieved, and giving myself permission to ask: What do I really want?

The Cost of Misalignment

When we live for others’ expectations—whether it’s family, society, or even our own outdated definitions of success—we start making choices that drain us instead of energize us. It might show up as burnout, frustration, or that constant feeling that something is missing.

Maybe you’ve been feeling that pull, too. A whisper telling you there’s something more for you. A knowing that it’s time to stop shape-shifting and start living fully in who you are.

But breaking free from expectations isn’t always easy.

The Courage to Align

Alignment isn’t about throwing your life away and starting over. It’s about small, intentional shifts—deciding, day by day, to move closer to what feels real and true.

So how do you begin?

1. Be Honest with Yourself

Sit with the hard questions:

● Am I living a life that feels like mine?

● What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of disappointing people?

● Where am I out of alignment, and what’s that costing me?

For me, answering these questions led to launching The Opal Collective—a space where people can rediscover themselves, shed what no longer fits, and step into a life of purpose.

2. Let Go of the Fear of Judgment

Not everyone will understand your path. That’s okay. The people who are meant to walk alongside you will celebrate your growth. The ones who only loved the version of you that fit their expectations? They may fall away. But that’s part of the process.

I’ve had to walk through this myself—choosing to trust that the more I align with my truth, the more I’ll attract the right people, opportunities, and experiences.

3. Step Into Your Own Power

You don’t need permission to be who you are. The life you crave—the one that feels expansive, purposeful, and aligned—is waiting for you to claim it.

But no one can do it for you. You have to choose it.

Living in Alignment is a Daily Practice

This isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a practice. A commitment. Some days, it’s easy. Other days, it’s terrifying. But every time you choose alignment over approval, you reclaim a little more of yourself.

And that is worth everything.

If this resonates with you—if you’re standing at the edge of change, knowing you’re ready but unsure where to start—you’re not alone. This is the work we do at The Opal Collective. We create spaces for people to reconnect with themselves, gain clarity, and step into their next season with confidence.

Your life is waiting. The real one. The aligned one. The one that feels like home.

Are you ready to claim it?